Knowing When To Say Goodbye
I am often asked by clients “when do I know when it’s the right time to say goodbye to my dog”? Sadly, this is a question only you and your veterinarian need to answer and I acknowledge it’s not an easy decision to make. I can only share my experiences with you, I cannot tell you when the right time is for your particular situation.
I have been blessed to have been able to share my life with some wonderful animals, mostly dogs. Saying goodbye to each and every one of them was so heartbreaking for me. My dogs have always been an integral part of my family unit. I have never understood why someone would have a dog and not include them in almost all aspects of their lives as my family did.
My first dog, Patches, came to me when I was 3 1/2 years old. Patches was a small fox terrier mix who I loved and adored. I spent a lot of time with her. She taught me a lot about having compassion for all animals. When she was 12 she was diagnosed with autoimmune hemolytic anemia that required her to be on prednisone every day. Eventually, it was the medicine that was killing her and not the disease. We were away on vacation and she took a turn for the worse. The kennel had rushed her to the vet who told my dad that she would not recover from this. He gave the ok to have her put to sleep. I was devastated. I didn’t understand what was happening and why it was happening and why it was happening without any of us there. At that moment I swore none of my future animals would leave this world without me present if I could help it, and they haven’t.
I’ve always been ‘in-tune’ with my dogs
I know it sounds crazy but it hasn’t ever been a guessing game for me. They made it very clear that their quality of life had diminished so greatly that they no longer wished to continue their life.
There is nothing worse than watching someone you love get old and begin to suffer failing health. Our animals are now living longer than they used to because of advancements in animal medicine. But how does one make the decision to say goodbye? For me, I know I will always have a dog in my life. I have promised each of my dogs that I will give them the best possible life that I can give them and sadly I will walk with them through their end-of-life process. As hard as this process is, it is a blessing that we are able to provide for our animals. Intellectually I know dogs do not live as long as I would like them to live. I understand this in my head but my heart becomes very heavy. As each of my dogs has become elderly I made the decision to either get another dog so I wouldn’t be without a dog or to begin the process of looking for a dog before the current dog I had actually passed so that the process was in full swing when they did. This included looking at dog breeds, filling out applications at local rescue organizations, or contacting breeders. Looking ahead is helpful for me as I am looking at the end.
I don’t know how to describe this next part exactly but here goes…each of my animals has told me when the actual time was to be. I know it sounds crazy but it hasn’t ever been a guessing game for me. They made it very clear that their quality of life had diminished so greatly that they no longer wished to continue their life. It’s weird. I know. I know my dogs and I know when they are happy, sad, scared, or in pain. And I have come to realize when the love of their life was beginning to fade. It doesn’t mean that they were sad all the time. Dogs are so resilient. It is an absolute life lesson to watch them navigate through their lives. What I mean is that they were not able to do the things that they always had done and I believe they felt bad about themselves. For example, having accidents in the house, having confusion as to where they are, or what they are doing, or not being able to see, hear, stand, or walk.
So don’t beat yourself up about “when is the right time” as the end approaches for your beloved pet. I truly believe that it will be clear to you both. As humans, we know that every moment we have here on earth is a blessing. It’s a bigger blessing to be able to share those moments with a dog. As that end moment gets closer I remind myself that every day spent together is a blessing. Then every moment spent together is a blessing. And at the scariest of moments, at the very end, I know, that too is the hugest of blessings and we get to give this blessing to our beloved pets. How selflessly wonderful.
My end-of-life conversation with my pets has always been clear and I hope yours is too. If you loved your dog more than anything and this was hard and you are saying that you could never go through this process again, remember this: that dog gave you more love and happiness for many years. This is just one moment in the many years you spent together. Go and get another pet, not to replace your lost friend, but to give yourself an opportunity to love another being.
If you are feeling like you’d like to process this a little more please don’t hesitate to contact me.
